Acts 26:18 (TPT) Jesus said to Paul
‘And you will open their eyes to their true condition, so that they may turn from darkness to the Light and from the power of Satan to the power of God. By placing their faith in me they will receive the total forgiveness of sins and be made holy, taking hold of the inheritance that I give to my children!’
I was reflecting on a recent sermon and I was struck by a few things. Even in the “on purpose” with God, Paul’s circumstances (notably throughout Acts) were bumpy. He was judged and not believed and still God was getting His way. Paul just stood and said Yes, in spite of the circumstances, and that was enough. Following the shipwreck (Acts 27), and the venomous snake (Acts 28), Paul was invited into the Roman’s home, a mansion, and treated kindly. He was well fed and cared for over three months and proceeded to heal the ruler’s father and ALL on the island. And in Rome he had the opportunity to speak to the Jews and non-Jews. Many came to Jesus over the two years Paul was in Rome, and oh how it was multiplied. He was comfortable and cared for and didn’t look free in the natural world but he was free and setting others free. Our world is not the truth. Our world is broken. The meaning of free in the world is different from Kingdom free.
I was also struck by the truth that my heart yearning for you is enough. I can’t miss it. I can’t. There is peace in that. You are the one moving, orchestrating, arranging and I can just be still.
So, in a difficult place, my heart wants miracles, fully forgiving others, fully in joy, fully being me and being comfortable in a foreign land (not literally but in a place in war with Kingdom perspective). Fully refreshed. Fully experiencing and letting go of the edge. Fully being safe with you and not having expectations or judgments. Fully relaxing even as the swirl around me is full of nonsense. Fully being settled with me and you together is more than enough. No expectations. No rules, no vows, just being able to be a missionary in dark places and speak truth and bring peace and joy and love and hope and encouragement and rest and be still and know I am God is with me and be ok with relational limits and know that does not define me. Knowing I am relational, and I can relation well.
Interesting thought from a sermon about Luke 5: 1-11. All sorts of interesting points but Jesus asked them to do opposite what doing, ‘go deep’. Clearly it is harder to be obedient in the thing we know best and this takes real humility. Instead of a fishing business, we have a financial background. Our boat was business success, in finance, income, savings, credit scores and vast knowledge and experience with things related to money, investments and insurance. And you have worked it out with us. Our faith is no longer in what we can do to build up income, credit score, savings, wealth, insurance portfolio. And in this excruciating set of circumstances, you have steadily, continually, in many ways extravagantly, provided for us in raw, humbling, manna from heaven, miraculous, supernatural, more than enough ways.
Excerpt from Truth In Hard Places