And you Lord, weeks later, remind me to go back to a recording I made on a walk.
“I’m repeating (singing) ‘I lay it down. I lay it down. I lay it down.’ And I am thinking about the “it” and it is the thing that puts an expectation on what God is suppose to do and I want to be freed up of any expectations Lord, any of the feelings of opinion, judgment, discouragement, the shoulds.
So all the “it”, I lay it down at your feet Lord and I say again Lord that I want you fully and completely without my opinion, without my judgment, without my input, without my creative thoughts and my expectations and my measures, but I want you to be you. To be free to be you and do whatever you’re gonna do and I say Yes to it. I say Yes to all of your plans, all of your promises, all of your creative, supernatural power, all of your mercy and grace and I lay down “it”.
Anything that gives me a prickly feeling in my chest that things aren’t lining up the way they should or I’ve been disappointed because …, or I wish this was going on but it’s not and I want to make it different and make it better and I don’t want to live this way, I want to live a different way, and you said God, but I don’t see it. All of that stuff is the rubbish of the lie that you are not good and you don’t love me and you don’t know best and you don’t know fully and it’s the same trap that the enemy sets up again and again and again. It looks different but it’s the same trap.
So I just say, be gone in the name of Jesus. There’s no room for you and your lies in my mind or my words. And Lord, I just pray you would show me today your very best, your way, your exquisite, incredible, unpredictable, magnificent, mysterious, incredible truth. And I just want to be able to be still and know that you are God and trust and believe that I am (Psalm 91) right in the nestle of your chest with your wings around me and I don’t need to be on guard. I don’t need to be in control. I don’t need to be thinking about things that are worldly or circumstances or decisions that don’t line with you first. I just want to be with you. I want you you you you. So Lord Jesus, I just thank you. I thank you for all that you are and all that you do. Amen.”
Excerpt from Loving and Faithful