A phone call from a well-meaning Christian family member with concern over our situation raised the issue again. Whose perspective am I going to choose? I listened, asked questions, listened, prayed and went to you Lord, again. And here is where I started.
Beth (B) – I am feeling this pushback on this whole Spirit of Fear thing.
You are a good, good father
We have asked and asked
You have said trust, rest
This feels like – my fault, a do thing, the heavy feeling of I caused miscarriages, financial
I am more “all in” than ever
More mindset on you than ever
More trust, be still, faith, believe than ever
I want what you want, but I do not want to stir up a mess. Specified it was on us both. I know I feel fearless with you – all my list – puny little lies that I do not believe and know you are bigger than. I am not fooled. I know you are big and in charge. The mindset of your refining for your glory, your way to confound, the circumstances are not the end of the story. I believe John 10:10 and can imagine that we are in the process of that. It is like the promise of our baby and I do not see the promise on earth but wondering…
People that spoke – Holy Spirit or them?
Eternity with our babies and so many, many more than if I had in the natural. What looks like death on earth was truly your interception of babies from death to eternal life. I have my babies for eternity. My big table!
The refining of the season with delay.
I do not feel like I know all you are up to but I see glimpses of the power our story, our walk, has on others and there is much I do not know or see. Why is my view even important? In circumstances, you have always provided. My dreams, if not here on earth, are in heaven for eternity. The eternal amazing stuff, our character, integrity, peace, joy, love, contentment, learning to keep our eyes on you and not circumstances, others confused and I am not (or less than ever).
True, the messenger hears you, loves us, spoke sure of Spirit. I want to hear you Holy Spirit. I want your truth. Show me your way – I am.
I want your rod and staff, show me your do and my see, whatever that looks like. I will not proceed from you. I am with you. Psalm 91 covering, and I am standing believing you are protecting me fully and I have laid it all out. Lord if there is anything, anything Lord, I repent. I want what you want, your way. Lord, please reveal anything that is hidden. Show me your way. Anything you need me to do, say. Lord, help me to be receptive, listening, seeing with your eyes and ears. Show me Lord. I repent for all the fears I have, the listed, named and unnamed and I declare you are my one and only, there is nothing that can come against you, and I am tucked in Psalm 91. I love you, I trust you, you are it and I am all in. I believe. I have faith. I am filled with faith in you and you alone. Nothing, no person, no place, no anything is my security, only you Lord. I love you and I am standing with you.
God (G) – Little one, be still. You are ok. Rest, pray, thankful, praise, smile, joy, laughter, enough – it is enough, you are wholly mine – holy mine – it is enough. Rest, be still, you are lined up with me – stay. Be still
B – Yes Lord.
G – Pray
B – Yes Lord
G – For wisdom
B – Yes Lord, yes.
G – Dilly dally no more. Be firm, resolute. Sound sure. Speak sure. Be sure. Firm and resolute. Set on me. Set. Ready, set, go! We are off and it is going to be great. Watch and see. I am – I want you to hear me and stay focused right here with me – that is it! You are well. Stay.
– speak truth
– declarations
– pray
– thank and praise
Together. This is the banner – love – it is enough – it is everything. Stay steady. Dig in with me. Stand Firm. All is falling away, and you are firmly planted in me.
B – Yes Lord
G – Stand strong. Do not be swayed. Do not be dismayed. Stay strong. Stand. Do not move left or right. Keep your eyes on Me – Me alone – I am with you – for you and not against you – it is more than enough – be still and know I AM – yes little one, it is good, gooder than all you can imagine, and it is my pleasure to uncover, unfurl it all, yes the land of plenty. Yes, my sweet, watch and see.
Excerpt from Truth In Hard Places