1 John 3:2 (TPT) Beloved, we are God’s children right now; however, it is not yet apparent what we will become. But we do know that when it is finally made visible, we will be just like him, for we will see him as he truly is.
Beth (B) – It’s interesting to think about Lord – the places you see me as I am in heaven – the difference yet here on earth. The transformation through these years in my walk with you and the Jesus in my walk with you and the Jesus in me that is manifested today in thoughts and actions and words. And yet, this process is unfinished and will continue until the day you return or I arrive joyfully in heaven. And then I wonder, will I recognize me?
1 Corinthians 13:12 Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
The unveiling of you in me is amazing to think on. The process has been hard, painful, challenging, consuming, through life events and misfortunes and yet for you it has been perfectly made. The unveiling is happening just right. Even in the mess you are able to do what only you can do. So, thank you. I want to see all the opportunities to grow and transform as the fullness of your adventure. That is your intention. I want to know you more, hear you more clearly, respond more easily,
Pausing
Going slow
Listening without agenda
Leading with love
Being still
Expecting to see you
Watching you move
Thanking and praising in all things
Believing
Trusting
Resting
I want my eyes on you in all things – watching to see what your next move is. Thanking you before I see it. Believing you are good even when I don’t feel good. Keeping my eyes on you and the truth about you. I want it all your way.
And what?
Seeing others with your eyes and believing the finished work is worth the process and choosing to celebrate the practice of not reacting, of forgiving, being unoffendable, trusting you have my back and front and side and under – you are worthy and faithful and more than enough.
I want to be the one resting and watch you doing.
I want to be resting.
This is not doing, striving, changing.
This is not a list with boxes to check off.
This is me choosing to be nestled into your chest and covered under your wing and hearing you breathe. Sensing Holy Spirit moving and going with you. Not ahead. Not behind. But with. I want this peace – transcending understanding in all things, situations and with all people.
And how?
Because I believe what you say to me about you and about me with you. So yes, I can rest today knowing that what you are up to is on purpose and a good work for my good and for your glory and I choose to have it be enough.
It ties back to realizing that I long to be seen by others and that longing is really the longing you put in my heart to be seen by you. Before you I longed for it from family, friends. But your way is longing for you. That longing I tried to fill by dancing hard, performing well, striving for perfection, measuring by people’s views and opinions – all is exhausting and unfulfilling. The measures change. The things aren’t noticed. I am not appreciated or loved or heard or seen. But God – you say –
God (G) – I see you. I hear you. I appreciate you. I love you and you can stop. Stop pretending. Stop acting. Stop trying. Stop striving. Stop thinking. Stop responding. Stop reacting. Stop. Stop. Stop. Now – settle in and listen well. I love you. I have always loved you and I will always love you. I created you to be. Be still and know that I am God. Listen. Listen well. Listen without a plan. Listen without a reply. Rest in listening. Listen. Listen. Listen. I want you to hear me. I want you to be so full of love and care and appreciation and affirmation and quality time and gifts from me that you do not need or long from another. I want to be everything you need so that you can relax and be.
B – Lord, I am hearing depletion. Where I am depleted Lord, I want to long for more of you and not the things of the world that leave me thirsty and hungry for more. I want the depletion to be overcome like rivers in the desert and be saturated by your love.
Isaiah 44: 3 For I will pour water on the thirsty land, and streams on the dry ground; I will pour out my Spirit on your offspring, and my blessing on your descendants.
I want all the places that yearn to be in rest and peace. I want to walk in love and joy and peace and rest. And I do not want to be shaken by words or circumstances or timing or situations.
Laughing thinking of the garden hose last night – someone used it and didn’t leave it the way I did, and I was frustrated, angry. It was an inconvenience. I was angry someone would not do it my way and leave it the way they found it. And I think you see all that differently and I want to see it your way. I do not believe there is such a thing as a little thing to you and that alarms me in an attentive way to watch closely with you – from a place of rest and expectancy to see what you are up to. It feels big.
What does it look like in life to unfurl a hose that is kinky and not easy to pull and straighten? It looks like work unless I am breathing you in. Your way Lord. Help me do this in a way that looks like Jesus in skin. What are you showing me? What are you teaching me?
And my son? When I complained about it, he made the observation that I am not in control. The idea of my way, I control, is certainly an issue of self focus versus others focus. And I get to practice that every day. And the way I choose to respond is dependent on where I am looking. When I look at the world, I want others to agree. I want validation. I want. Versus when I look to you, I can laugh. My way is not the issue – your way is – in all things even when it is inconvenient, even when I am tired, even when I am low blood sugar.
So Lord, I want to let go of control. My way. Needing to know. Self. And I know I get to practice that a lot. So Lord, please overwhelm me with you. Your love, your patience, your joy, your peace, your pleasure, your strength, your stamina, your perseverance, your view, your grace, your mercy, you Lord – overwhelm me with you.
I want to laugh. More and more often. I want big belly laughter with tears streaming down my cheeks. I want joy bubbling up and overflowing. I want love. Thank you, Lord, that we are a safe place.
Excerpt from An Encourager’s Heart