Proverbs 13:12 (TPT) When hope’s dream seems to drag on and on, the delay can be depressing. But when at last your dream comes true, life’s sweetness will satisfy your soul.
Interesting reflection with Cole this morning on the disappointing fishing trip yesterday. Weather was windy and snowy, only one fish caught by Dave, but realized the memories from trips are less about the fishing. It ended up being a terrific birding day and time together.
I was sharing with Cole this is a lot like life. We have an idea, direction, agenda and then our story/testimony from that season is not at all what we imagined or expected. I have seen this again and again with my life in so many different ways; my having another baby story is different and the testimony is not what I planned, our move to Colorado, homeschooling, family relationships from brokenness to redemption, my pre-Jesus testimony, all so different than I expected.
So the solid truth – being settled in the character of God and what it is to trust when the circumstances are different than the expectations – still trusting – for good – nothing wasted and good testimony – even when I’m weary, disappointed, discouraged, have fear and anger. All of these feelings are the fruit of my agenda not being met. Interestingly, my expectation exposes my longing for control versus looking for you God in every situation, place, person, which totally frees me up from control.
I want to see you Lord, really see you – not what I expect you to look like or expect you to do or expect from you which is all so debilitating to our (or any) relationship – but rather I want to see you really – face to face – knowing you are good – really, really good, knowing you love me.
I want to stay focused on the truth about your character and what you say about me, regardless of my circumstances. I recognize how my circumstances can sway me to believe lies about your character and how you feel about me. Circumstances, when not lining up with your will, are more like smoke screens, full of deceptions, and confusion. I want to be in awe and wonder watching you in everything.
This whole agenda thing goes along with opinion and judgment. There is no way for my created mind, outside of you, to KNOW anything. So yes Lord – I lay it ALL down and say Thank You. I am so excited to see your plan unfold. I can see 10 years of saying yes – believing you and making choices for you and not man. And while the fruit in the natural by the world measure – money and possessions and recreation/trips – isn’t “matching” my agenda (idea, plan) for where we “should” be, we are so far ahead in our bank account with you – in faith, trust, belief, identity, ability to discern, hear you, relationship with you, presence, relationships, friendships, health, healing, freedom, glorious stories of your faithfulness, provision, favor, abundant blessing. And I muse, this is what your people had in the promised land.
I am more convinced than ever that the truth is NOTHING IS WASTED and what the enemy means for our destruction and confusion, God invites us to choose to walk with Him in truth and for His glory and then our testimony becomes LIFE for others. That is the truth about this season. I win every time when I choose to believe who He says He is and who He says I am, in spite of the circumstances. That is the invitation to a mighty testimony, and it is good.
You are such an incredibly good daddy – Thank you Lord – your girl with NO AGENDA Lord – make it true – your way in everything Lord – way, way better than mine.
Deuteronomy 30:14-20 No, the word is very near you, it is in your mouth and in your heart so you may obey it. See, I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction. For I command you today to love the Lord your God, to walk in his ways, to keep his commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the Lord your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess.
But if your heart turns away and you are not obedient, and if you are drawn away to bow down to other gods and worship them, I declare to you this day that you will certainly be destroyed. You will not live long in the land you are crossing the Jordan to enter and possess.
This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.
Excerpt from Truth In Hard Places