There’s a place in my heart that wants to believe it is all going to be ok and you really are as good as you say you are and I really can trust you and all the wacky, wonky stuff is not about us but you are using it to glorify yourself and my willingness to trust you in the mess is your joy and we are doing so well and you are so proud – ok Lord.
I’d venture to say the very first time I sat down at the computer to start was a day like any other – nothing particularly stands out except it was the day I chose to finally sit and start. My pre-write time included many jottings, listenings, readings, up in the middle of the nights or in the shower or car thinkings, that I knew at once were bits to include and jotted rapidly (like now). I read encouraging prophetic words, scripture, checked Amazon book titles as I jotted ideas and then sidetracked to books recently published and mused on the getting started time. And yet I waited.
Then I saw the passage below about glorifying the Lord from Johnny Enlow’s book Rainbow God and I knew His story in me was ready:
“Jesus ends the infamous Lord’s Prayer by teaching us to always remember and declare from our hearts that God’s kingdom (His better way of doing everything), God’s power (His ability to accomplish things) and God’s glory (His correct reputation) is what this experience on earth is ultimately all about. He is big enough and good enough not to need us, but kind and relational enough to want us in on all His doing. His love rescues you and then leaves you with limitless ways to show others the love He poured out to you!” (p.212)
He had encouraged, encouraged and encouraged. And while I was excited and excited, I sat. And then. Today’s the day. So here Lord is your gift to me, shared, to encourage others and show them your love and care in hope that many are moved for your glory Lord.
And a bit later,
Beth (B) – Lord, what do you see? Lord, I need to hear you. Lord, you. (I am feeling) Heavy about so many things.
God (G) – Once again I have you covered – just watch and see what I am up to – you have been incredibly trusting and faithful and oh how my heart leaps knowing you are all in. You are ok – truly – really truly – just watch and see what I am up to and you will be in awe and wonder – it is good and always you will know me – the reals – the one and only – not man’s view but your very own heart’s knowing – rest, peace, longing, serene, vibrant, relaxed – breathe sweet girl – just breathe and yes you will know my goodness in the land of the living – beyond your hopes and dreams, beyond your wildest imaginations.
B – (Come Away song lyrics in my head) it’s gonna be wild, it’s gonna be great, it’s gonna be full of me – I have a plan for you, I have a plan for you, it’s gonna be wild, it’s gonna be great, it’s gonna be full of me –
G – Truth
I am totally and completely in control, and you can trust me in every area – it is your strength to breathe, rest, wait and listen.
It is your strength to love
It is your strength to praise
It is your strength to see me
It is your strength to believe
It is your strength to be still
It is your strength to rest
It is your strength to resist fear
It is your strength to choose me
It is your strength to listen well
It is your strength to smile
It is your strength to laugh loudly
It is your strength to be real
It is your strength to relax
It is your strength to know me
Trust me, believe me, rest in me, laugh with me, love with me, relax with me, forgive with me, listen with me – let’s just be together and let me be
Watch and see – awe, wonder, amazement
It is all so BIG and it is good
B – Yes Lord. I receive your truth and breathe in your reality – your for reals – yes Lord.
Excerpt from Truth In Hard Places