On this day, time with the Lord started with reading a word from Lana Vawser (Lana Vawser Ministries at lanavawser.com) and following are my brief notes.
Time to get writing with the Holy Spirit. Those who have been in intense fire, I heard the Lord say, “many of you get ready to write” and feeling the stirring need to “write”. Questions in the way- When? Enough time? How will this work? What do I have to say? Lay questions aside and sit down and begin to write what the Lord places upon your heart for many of you have been in intense fire in this season and as you sit down and begin to ask the Holy Spirit what He wants you to write, He is going to begin to show deep biblical revelation that you received through encounter with 4th man in the fire. What sowed in fire is about to spring forth.
Beth (B) – Yes Lord. I do want to write a book and I want it to be yours. I want it to be what you want to declare through me. Show me this Lord. Help me to see with your eyes what this looks like. Yes Lord. It is about you. It is about us together. It is about your love, care, tenderness, wisdom, faithfulness. It is about the people you have used in my life and the circumstances you have used in my life to show me again and again you are good. My spirit is giddy, and I don’t want this stolen. I want what you want. So here I am, little. Here you are, really, really big. Show me your way Lord and I will go. Show me your heart and I will trust more, believe more, listen more, yes Lord.
Once upon a time, there was a wee little one who came into this world. She was joy overflowing. She was smiles often and easily. She was love overflowing and enthusiastic. She loved well. She loved her people. She loved her animals. She loved her brother a lot. She loved. Lots of color, fun, sun and play, tender, caring, careful, gentle, wonderful love.
Then came the tear. A ripping, shredding, bleeding, messy awfulness that consumed and impacted everything. Separation, lies, terror and darkness. Awful doesn’t begin to describe it. Then the lie that seemed to help the very most surfaced and took hold. I can. It was just enough for every day and what began innocently and with a pure, though hurting, heart got messier and messier. Until at last it was disaster too. Independence. Rebellion. Self. Sin. Anger. Fear. Control. Manipulation. Striving. Self-centeredness. Lust.
And in the chapter of broken and broken and broken, there was an everlasting love wooing. The wooing came. It was always there but noticed less. But little by little the heart heard more and more and finally in the most beautiful way on the most perfect day, the angels celebrated as Daddy’s girl came home. It was momentous in the kingdom, celebrated brightly, “my little girl is with me.”
Then the healing began. There was an awful lot of stuff. Little by little the lies got small and the truth got big and then the days came that enough was enough and the heart was opened completely, and He began the tender, fragile, ever so careful heart surgery that had to be done to bring life into the broken places. This was the time of the broken into beautiful, the vision of the long, strong stemmed red bloom standing in the heap of filth. The pain in this season was excruciating but the hope, faith, belief, love and trust, grew and grew.
Then came the great awakening. No more dullness. The refining brought the brilliance, “’not by might nor by power but by my Sprit’ says the Lord Almighty.” (Zechariah 4:6)
And so began the season of the journey to the promised land. Rough, hard, grinding, disappointing but always with Him, safely. Always safely. Seeing the faithfulness of Daddy again and again as we walked together through every storm, along every excruciating trail and always for a purpose. Nothing ever was wasted. Not by effort. Not by might. Not in created strength. Not by created wits. Not. The lies went away and instead every place was filled with truth. More truth. Deeper truth. Relationship. Intimacy. Rest. Be still and know I am. Created. Creator. Circumstances. Truth. Natural. Kingdom. Love overwhelming. Overwhelming love and care. Always safe, every time. Every time. Every single time. Standing. Bent but not broken. Standing. Believing. Seeing. Hearing.
And in the time, the journey, the quiet, seeing Papa’s truth and hearing Papa’s voice and seeing with His eyes. And there was peace and joy and love and hope and faith and life and truth and more joy and strength and all was in Him. And He was in all and doing the heavy lifting to bring glory to Him. His truth through any vessel that says yes, and it is beautiful.
What can He do in the midst of mess?
Brings peace to the weary. Joy to the mourning. Healing to the broken hearted. Truth to replace the lies. Love overflowing. Lasting. I am.
B – Being a light. Lord, show me your heart, please.
God (G) – Yes, it is enough. Let’s be gentle. This is not heavy lifting, this is riding waves together, watching, waiting, and then getting into position. I am. This is my heart.
(You are)
Transparent.
Full of life.
Love.
Encouragement.
A cheerleader for God.
(And) I Am.
B – Lord. I will lay aside how. I will believe why. I will desire you only. I will listen. I will rest. I will be still and know that you are God. I am excited. I am grateful and thankful. I will watch and listen and see and believe what you do. I believe you can bring encouragement, confirmation, direction, wisdom, discernment, ease, rest, freedom, brilliance. Your gentleness to soothe the hurting hearts that need a fresh dose of Papa’s love and hope, to step with you in a fresh way. I pray this Lord. I pray you will use this time beautifully, this time with you for your good purpose Lord. Please show me your way. Stretch my days Lord. Thank you, Lord. Yes Lord. I want to be used for your good purpose in a mighty and powerful way and yes, I believe you can use me because you chose me at the beginning of time for this time. You already see and I trust you. I trust you with all of my heart, time, energy, life, relationships, health, everything. I believe you and I trust you. Lord help me in my unbelief. My heart’s desire is for you. Yes Lord.
G – I can. I will use you, and yes you, in a mighty way, beautifully, safely. Yes, this is our thing. This is a secret. This is a place we go together, and we do kingdom together. Quietly and softly and it is mine. I will reveal it all. Steps. Just be here with me in this place. Let’s create together a window into how I do things. It is unnatural and it is other worldly – ha – kingdom ways are so much higher and this window will be your time to see how I do things. Yes, together. This is for a great and mighty purpose and I can see things and it is beautiful. Amazing. Ephesians 3:20 beyond what you could ever think, ask, imagine. This is that, incredibly beautifully for a mighty major impact for many. Your heart’s desire, nothing wasted. Love, hugs, hope, speaking, travel, bounty overwhelming. Overwhelming hearts, so many, many hearts turned toward…
B – My name is Beth and My God is Papa, Daddy, I Am, Jesus, Yahweh, HS. He is the Creator and I am the created. He asked me to trust him, believe him, love him, seek him, follow him, glorify him. He promised. He told me nothing would be wasted and He would use it for His glory. This is His. This is my sacrifice, poured out, pressed down. This is His gift. I often prayed through it all, please don’t waste this. Please have this be for your glory. Please Lord, like ripples in water, use this in a mighty way. Please Lord. And He always said Yes.
Yes little one, nothing is wasted. Yes, I will use this for my glory. Yes, this will be worth everything. Yes, you would be willing to go through it all over for the delight at the end. And yes, I am enough.
G – This is the time. As all breathe, not you, (but) me, let us just rest, not strive, not work, not your way, let’s do this my way. Ok to lay it down, whenever strain, lay it down, whenever stress, lay it down. I Am.
Matthew 10:20 TPT It won’t be you speaking but the Spirit of your Father repeatedly speaking through you. (Footnote: See Exodus 4:12)
Exodus 4:12 “Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.”
Matthew 10:27 TPT What I say to you in the dark, repeat in broad daylight, and what you hear in a whisper, announce it publicly.
Psalm 32:8-9 TPT I hear the Lord saying, “I will stay close to you, instructing and guiding you along the pathway for your life. I will advise you along the way and lead you forth with my eyes as your guide. So don’t make it difficult; don’t be stubborn when I take you where you’ve not been before. Don’t make me tug you and pull you along. Just come with me!”
Excerpt from An Encourager’s Heart